Five ways to seal the deal

First sleepover. Guys, pop a new toothbrush by the sink to let the lady know she’s welcome at your place. Don’t worry, it doesn’t mean you’re committing. Ladies, make that a disposable one.

Unofficial roomies. So you’ve been staying over at each other’s place quite frequently – don’t move in the shoe closet yet! Do it strategically – they’ll be expecting changes in the bedroom first, so buy a coffee machine and stake out your territory from there. An espresso machine for two isn’t as invasive; it’s cute, functional and decorative.

Pick me. Cook a meal. Heck, cook ten meals, then label and freeze them so your partner (it’s all right to call him/her that now) will never go hungry. This demonstrates your capability, reliability, and marry-ability. Hey, and while you’re at it, why don’t you just bake the ring into the soufflé? Just make sure to have a first-aid kit lying around…

Just married. It’s okay to never want to leave the room. Just make sure that when you finally do venture into the kitchen for nourishment, you’ve got the fridge stocked up. We recommend doing away with the champagne and oysters – trust us, it’s too much clean-up. Cook up a big roast and you can feast on it for days, in ways more than one.

My baby mama. Guys, forget what they say about organic foods and Mozart. Nothing says ‘I love you and thank you for carrying that spawn of mine’ as much as a diamond ring, three carats preferably. We’ll accept a blue for a boy and a pink for a girl if you must. Don’t look shocked: when it comes to carrying a baby, all logic goes out the window. Erm, congratulations?