If music equals good, and sex equals good, then sex plus music must surely mean very, very good. Admittedly, not all sex is good and not all music can get your feet moving, let alone make you want to take your knickers off. But does average sex, when coupled with an astounding soundtrack, make for a mind-blowing experience? And what if the sex is already phenomenal? Would the inclusion of an exquisitely crafted number elevate the experience to one that crosses the boundaries of physical to spiritual? In-depth studies have yet to be conducted (and so there are no answers here), but thanks to some Canadian researchers, we now know that your brain releases the same sort of dopamine when listening to music as it does when – you’ve guessed it – you’re doing the dirty. Granted, the amount of dopamine released may be negligible when compared to the overwhelming rush bonking brings, but combining two pleasure-triggers into one activity can only bode well for your (in or out of) bedroom gymnastics.
So the next time you’re getting ready to show some love, slip in a CD and get ready to be blown away. And if you want music to really play a part in your lovemaking, then invest in the OhMiBod personal massager, which can be connected to your iPod and even has an app available on the App Store... and let the rhythm move you.
First time with a new lover
Air, ‘Playground Love’
Its dreamy feel, haunting melody and ever-so-suggestive whispered lyrics all speak eloquently of what’s in store for the both of you. The romantic saxophone solo ensures the song never veers into wham bam territory. For that very same reason, avoid at all costs if this is you just scratching an itch.
In a long-term relationship
Kings of Leon, ‘Sex on Fire’
‘Lay where you’re laying, don’t make a sound’, Caleb Followill growls and a thousand panties drop. It may be an obvious choice to some, but this is a tightly crafted song, lean and measured in all the right places, rising to an explosive crescendo. Pretty much like the act itself. It’ll make you look at a long-term partner with fresh eyes.
Sex with the ex
Arcade Fire, ‘Wake Up’
The beseeching tones of Win Butler, the lush build up of the song that makes you think it’s going to hold its peak indefinitely (just like how you imagined your broken relationship would last forever) but coming to an abrupt, almost juddery halt, exhorting you in its last lyric to ‘look out for love’.
No strings attached
Azealia Banks, ‘212’ (featuring Lazy Jay)
Try as I might to put my finger on it, there’s no logical reason as to why this song works so well. Is it Azealia Banks’ insouciant rapping, her New Yorker drawl flicking you in? Or the unexpected electro drop-in that loops like a well-timed orgasm should? Or is it just because the hypersexual lyrics paint an effective picture of tangled limbs, exposed crotches and the kind of raw, dirty sex that only a random hook-up achieves? It could probably be all three things combined.
Five fingered shuffling
Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsbourg, ‘Je T’aime Moi Non Plus’
(In)Famous for its titillating properties, Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsbourg’s 1969 classic is so effective that there are tales of a whole generation being conceived to this song. Although this is nigh impossible to verify, there might be a grain of truth here: listen to Jane’s breathing get more and more heavy towards the end of the song and you’re almost as ready as she is. The Hermès Birkin, named in Jane’s honour, continues in this vein by satisfying (although not as loudly) the sartorial needs of fashion conscious women around the world.
Arctic Monkeys, ‘R U Mine’
There’s nothing remotely romantic about this monster song. Starting off with dirty riffs that manhandle you into submission and Alex Turner snarling in at the 26th second, this belter will take your mind straight to the gutter. Where, if you’re lucky, you’ll be looking up at the stars. If you could taste a song, this song would taste of slick, sweaty, salty skin.
Time Out asks: What's your favourite soundtrack in the boudoir? Let us know below.