With so many drink deals in town, how do you choose? TOS did the dirty work for you, testing free-flows and (hic!) cheap booze in search of the best offers


PHOTO LIBRARY

Le Noir
Free vodka for the first 100 inside – deal lasts until the rules are broken, first Friday of the month, 10pm lockdown
At Le Noir’s monthly Lockdown parties, the lucky first 100 punters to gain entry drink as much as vodka they want for as long as they like. The catch? Anyone not dressed in keeping with the theme – this time, it was to wear only white – pays $50 cash (ouch), and free-flow only lasts until someone breaks ‘the rules’. Doors are locked at 10pm, no one leaves, no one can go to the toilet, and no one can throw up (my personal favourite!).

Once you’re inside, the games begin. Cassh, Le Noir’s charismatic owner-cum-doorman, doles out challenges to keep things interesting. These progress in difficulty as the night goes on and include everything from ‘Everyone freeze for two minutes!’ to ‘Hottest guy in the club must strip. NOW!’ All went well until someone suitably inebriated (or just plain blur) walked out of the club and ruined it for everyone. That said, this feels more like an alcoholic’s house party and is quite entertaining for the more sporting among us. ‘It’s such an awesome concept,’ enthuses Aimee Thompson, a model and Lockdown devotee. ‘But when it ends early it’s annoying. I think the longest free-flow has lasted almost two hours and the shortest is about one hour – so it’s a pretty good deal.’
Sabina-Leah Fernandez
Level of inebriation (on a scale of 1 to 10): 8 (frat-boy style)

The Fullerton Hotel
$148++ for free-flow champagne, Sundays noon-3pm
You think Fullerton brunch, you think elegant, right? After all, this free-flow takes place on the terrace of the grandest hotel in town, where people can gently sip Taittinger with a view of the river and Boat Quay. But appearances can be deceptive…

At 12.20pm I started on my first flute of champagne – a little begrudgingly after a drinking session ending at 4am the night before. By 1.05pm I’d already lost track of how many topups I’d had despite having a notepad and pen in front of me (was it three or four…?). Those canny waiters don’t wait until you finish your glass before refilling! At 1.30pm one of my fellow diners realised she’d had a bit much when she managed to spill chocolate fountain down her front, trousers and shoes – score one for the champagne. By the last pour at 3pm, everything was pleasantly hazy, and though we ordered extra red wine in a panicked, last-ditch effort, by 4pm they refused us any more. So we wobbled out, merrily p*ssed and (thankfully) in a better state than the three fortysomething men escorted out by the Fullerton staff. Not so elegant after all.
Georgia Reeve
Town Restaurant, The Fullerton Hotel.
Level of inebriation: 3 (merry dancing person)

Insomnia
$20 for free-flow house pours, wine and select beers, Wednesday 9-11pm (men), 9-midnight (women)
It’s classy to have a drink in a former French colonial convent, Chijmes, especially when it’s beautifully lit up at night. It is, however, not classy to stumble around the expertly manicured lawns and fall into holes. But that’s the risk you take when you go to Insomnia on a Wednesday night, officially ‘The Original Guys and Girls Night’.

9.30pm: no cover charge – check. I like this place already. Not so much a fan of the live band, but a few drinks will change that. At about 10pm, a flight crew crowded the bar and proceeded to get absolutely wasted. Overall, patrons were a little older, which one could predict, given the theme song on the bar’s website: War’s 1975 ‘Why Can’t We Be Friends’. People definitely seemed to be ‘making friends’ this night; beer goggles were firmly in place.

By 1am, I’d sent several text messages to my co-workers along the lines of ‘I don’t know if I can come into work tomorrow’, which turned out to be rather prophetic. It only took two hours (and 12 drinks) to make the next morning less than pleasant.
Alexis Ong
Level of inebriation: 10 (hugging the toilet)

The Next Page
$38 for ten mixed drinks, Monday to Saturday 5-10pm
Nothing like sitting down to drink ten drinks in an hour all by yourself… that’s how my Friday night started at the Next Page. It was 9pm, my friends were running late, and at the stroke of 10pm, the daily promotion – $38 for ten mixed drinks – would be over. Gulp (literally).

‘Is it always so quiet here?’ I asked the barman as I ordered a house whisky and Coke. I couldn’t even make friends to share the cocktails with; there was no one else in the bar. Luckily, the barman was chatty and I had a book. Drink one down.

9.15pm: on to moderately strong whisky & Coke No 2, though I was starting to feel a little depressed about drinking by myself while struggling to read in the glow of the Chinese lanterns. This old-school boozer still has charm on its dead nights, though – there’s a cosy alcove out front for smoking and Tom and Jerry cartoons on TV inside. Plus, this ‘$38 for ten’ deal is great, making it a ridiculously cheap happy hour. You can even carry over what you don’t finish by 10pm for up to two weeks! Too bad I found that out later in the evening…
Laura Dannen
Level of inebriation: 2+ (mild buzz with potential for disaster)