Catherine Hardwicke moves from a modern romance (Twilight) to a Grimm classic with this daft retelling of the girl-in-the-crimson-cloak legend. There’s a (were)wolf, of course, and it’s terrorizing a forest village’s populace, especially the faux-feminist Red herself (Seyfried), now named Valerie—whether after Bertinelli or Solanas is anyone’s guess. There’s some plodding Team Jacob/Edward canoodling between Val and her two dim-bulb suitors, plus a crazy cleric (Oldman) with a merry band of multiracial creature hunters.
The highlight, though, is Julie Christie as Grandma, whose GILFy gorgeousness (especially in the “better to eat you with” scene) is the only thing in this overblown campfest with real teeth. Keith Uhlich