Welcome to the TOScars

There are way too many film award ceremonies already, so to take the movie industry down a peg or two, Sabrina Lee unveils the most embarrassing turkeys released over recent months

With the Oscars looming in February, we’re sick of all the back-slapping that’s already going on. So, in the spirit of the Oscars’ naughty twin, the Razzies, Time Out Singapore presents the TOScars, a tribute to the worst movies of 2007 and 2008. A small team of spectators first viewed, then cringed at, then debated the nominees. The panel comprised:

Alexandra Calamari, film writer
Laura Dannen, contributing TOS editor
Charlene Fang, TOS editor
Sabrina Lee, TOS film editor
Ben Slater, film writer
And the winners are…

Worst romantic comedy

FOUR CHRISTMASES
MADE OF HONOR
BECAUSE I SAID SO
AC: Widely considered the biggest Hollywood flop of 2008, and certainly one of the critically reviled movies of all time.

Worst coming-of-age film

THE HOTTIE & THE NOTTIE
GEORGIA RULE
WILD CHILD
AC: Despite the ridiculously contrived plot, horrible acting and cringe-worthy humour, the movie is still hysterical – in that train-wreck sort of way.

Worst remake

GET SMART
THE INVASION
JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH
SL: The barfing was ridunkulous. This has got to be the lamest attempt at adapting Jack Finney’s 1955 novel The Body Snatchers.

Worst movie made to win an Oscar

LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA
MY BLUEBERRY NIGHTS (despite Natalie Portman’s convincing performance)
SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK
BS: Love in the Time of Cholera is a truly bad film, a terrible misfire and extreme case of hubris. You can never really do Gabriel García Márquez in a feature film and people should stop trying.

Worst foreign to Hollywood-made movie
MY SASSY GIRL
THE EYE
SPEED RACER
LD: When will Hollywood learn that it cannot trump the Japanese when it comes to freak-fests? We mean that in a good way.

Worst use of talent for a movie

STEVE COOGAN, TROPIC THUNDER
JAVIER BARDEM, LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA
NICOLE KIDMAN, THE INVASION
CF: The man was H-O-T (and convincing) in Vicky Cristina Barcelona…what happened here?

Worst use of handheld camera
CLOVERFIELD
DIARY OF THE DEAD
QUARANTINE
SL: More nausea-inducing than anything else.

Worst thriller

VANTAGE POINT
EAGLE EYE
DISTURBIA
SL: What could have been an intriguing thriller turned into…a love story? It’s just a blatant excuse for young stars Shia LaBeouf and Sarah Roemer to get some foreplay in before dinner.

Worst musical movie
HAIRSPRAY
HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3: SENIOR YEAR
MAMMA MIA! THE MOVIE
AC: The most disappointing stage-to-screen adaptation of all time, Mamma Mia! The Movie played out like a cheesy ’80s music video, except no amount of digital enhancing could save Pierce Brosnan’s singing voice.

Worst local production for the big screen
THE LEAP YEARS
THE CARROT CAKE CONVERSATIONS
MONEY NO ENOUGH 2
SL: A movie about four people brought together by the local dish carrot cake, which then leads to a diatribe on life by all four characters. Do Singaporeans really have nothing better to do?

Worst movie overall

THE HAPPENING
JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH
I KNOW WHO KILLED ME
LD: The Great M Night has fallen…into the gutter.