Getting a good traditional Eastern massage can be a complicated process. Vanessa Mulquiney breaks down the rubdowns

Ayurvedic massage  
What is it? Translated as the ‘science of life’, Ayurveda is an Indian system of healing therapies which promote mental, physical and spiritual health. Like TCM, massage is just one branch of Ayurvedic therapy and is used to treat and prevent illness and prolong life through the use of medicated oil, herbs and spices. 
Good for people who want to turn back the clock. Ayurvedic massage is classified as rejuvenation therapy; if you’re a believer, younger-looking skin and a longer life will follow with regular sessions.
Before the massage Arrive about 15 minutes beforehand. You’ll have to fill in a questionnaire, which determines your dosha (your Ayurvedic body constitution type); therapeutic oils are then specially blended according to your needs. You’ll need to completely undress and put on disposable knickers (the G-string variety). Before the massage, the vital points of the body have to be cooled. The therapist will ask you to place your thumb on your nose while extending your forefinger to the head. ‘This will identify the exact place of the crown chakra,’ says Nazeera Ismail, Ayurvedic physician and operations manager of Mayoory Ayurvedic Spa. ‘Ksheerabala oil is applied to the crown and other vital points – ears, palms and feet,’ she says. As well as preparing the body for massage, this ritual is also to seek divine healing power and prevent any ill-effects of the massage. 
What should I expect? Oil, and lots of it – the therapist even has to wear a plastic apron. Although it’s easy to feel like a pig being prepared for the spit, this isn’t just any oil. ‘The oil has many Ayurvedic medicinal elements and is easily absorbed into the skin,’ says Ismail. ‘It takes less than a minute for the oil to get to the blood and lymphatic system, therefore the goodness reaches the cells immediately, unlike aromatherapy oil, which is dense and takes a few hours for the skin to absorb.’ Banish pig-like images from your mind and concentrate on the blissful feeling of warm oil being drizzled all over your body. The therapist will work on both the front and the back, using her hands and forearms to glide over the legs and arms in long, circular strokes. 
The next day Silky soft skin and not much else. 
Find it Mayoory Ayurvedic Spa
Price $140 (one hour); includes use of shower facilities 

Javanese massage 
What is it? An Indonesian massage that uses a combination of long strokes and gentle pressure-point manipulation, although it’s not as forceful as tuina (see below). Fisah, a therapist at the House of Traditional Javanese Massage and Beauty Care, says a Javanese massage is particularly helpful for those experiencing muscle pain. ‘The therapist will work on the muscles and nerve pathways in order to encourage blood circulation and remove toxins,’ she says. Good for releasing tension in cramped muscles and easing body aches. 
Before the massage You’ll be asked to undress and put on disposable knickers (the full-brief variety) and choose your oil: baby or herbal. 
What should I expect? Oil will be used to massage both the front and back of the body. Let the therapist know which area she should concentrate on. If needed, the therapist will sit on your lower back to add a little pressure while massaging – it’s not painful, but just remember to breathe through any discomfort. The next day Very relaxed; most shoulder and lower back pain noticeably gone. 
Find it House of Traditional Javanese Massage and Beauty Care
Price $50 (one hour) 

Thai remedial massage 
What is it? Also known as ‘yoga for lazy people’, Thai remedial massage uses a combination of therapist-assisted yoga stretches and deep manipulation work. ‘Remedial massage is made to measure,’ says Charmaine Chew, therapist at the Qi Mantra. ‘The whole body is addressed, while zeroing down to the real problem areas – that’s where the remedial side comes in,’ she says. Good for people with sports injuries and limb strains.
Before the massage You’ll complete a client card and detail the area you want the therapist to work on. You’ll need to undress (bra off, underwear on) and put on a cotton, kimono-style tie shirt and elasticised trousers. What should I expect? You’ll be massaged on a bed big enough for two; don’t be alarmed if the therapist joins you. She’ll either kneel beside you or sit at the base of the tailbone to ensure she’s at a better angle in which to pull, push and bend your aches away. She’ll spend the majority of the time massaging your problem areas, then work the limbs – this is so the therapist can safely stretch the muscles. 
The next day Problem areas were a little tender to the touch, but overall it was a great workout without breaking a sweat. 
Find it Qi Mantra
Price $70 (one hour) 

Tuina 
What is it? Traditional Chinese massage, or tuina (meaning ‘push’ and ‘pull’ in Mandarin), is most effective when used in conjunction with other Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) treatments such as acupuncture, cupping and herbal medicine. ‘Tuina is used to manipulate the corresponding acupuncture points [there are more than 300 of them] that need to be unblocked or corrected, so the qi [vital energy] can flow,’ says Angela Xu, acupuncturist and founder of the Oriental Traditional Therapy Centre. Good for those with stamina; tuina is rigorous and quite painful. It reduces muscle tension caused by exercise and stress. 
Before the massage Typically, you’ll be asked to strip down to your underwear or dress in loose-fitting cotton clothing. The therapist will cover your entire body with towels, only removing them (and your bra, ladies) when she needs to work on a certain area. 
What should I expect? Be ready for some serious prodding and poking, as the therapist works on the front and back of the body, as well as the arms, legs, buttocks (you’ll be surprised at the amount of muscle tension held there), neck and head. At times, it’ll feel as though you’ve succumbed to a type of semi-naked, horizontal Chinese torture that has been cleverly packaged as a ‘massage’, but we assure you, what you’re experiencing is still a massage, just not a particularly relaxing one. The therapist needs to work deeply in order to reach the acupuncture point and realign the problem areas, says Xu. If the pressure is too hard, ask the therapist to ease up, but remember, the point of tuina is to reduce tension and heal problem areas, not to help you fall asleep. 
The next day It’s usual to feel sore and tender, and bruising is a common result. It’s nothing to be alarmed about: remember, the therapist needs to massage deeply in order to reach the acupuncture points. Bruising should clear in a few days. 
Find it Oriental Traditional Therapy
Price $45 (one hour) 

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Spot the dodge 
We’ve all heard about massage parlours that dispense extras. But how can you tell the real deal from the happy ending? 

Now you see it, now you don’t 
If the shop-front window is shielded from view by panes of frosted glass, it’s usually a signal that what goes on inside isn’t suitable for public viewing. 

The beauty parade 
While it is generally more pleasant to be massaged by someone you find attractive, the reality is you’re lying face down for the majority of your session. Beware the establishment that offers you the opportunity to choose your therapist. 

The dead-fish massage 
It is a thin line that separates a relaxing massage and being rubbed like a genie in a bottle. If your therapist seems more interested in stroking you like a pet dog, and particularly in intimate regions, brace yourself for the inevitable ‘You want happy time?’ 

The touts 
Massages are one of the few things in life most people won’t have to think twice about. Hence, if an establishment has to resort to using a skimpily dressed woman stationed at its entrance as bait, chances are relieving you of your muscular aches isn’t the only thing she has in mind.
Charlene Fang