Singapore’s humid climate can give even the lightest tuft of hair a life of its own. Peter Myers and Georgia Reeve get to the root of their problematic ‘bad hair days’

On trial: Chest wax at Strip Co-Ed
Here’s the deal: I’ve always been rather proud of my luxuriant, Austin Powers- tastic chest hair. Perhaps too proud. And so it was that one day, while wallowing in my abundant furriness, the TOS crew stealthily approached me with assurances that if I wanted to succeed in my upcoming triathlon swim, I’d need to rethink the caveman look.

I was sent to Strip Co-Ed, into whose unisex studios approximately 20 hairy (mainly Caucasian) men stumble every week. I assume that most must be ‘friends of Dorothy’, though I could be wrong. These must be vain men, I thought, as I lay there, terrified, bare-but hairy-chested and trousers inched down a tad. Peggy the therapist gave me a quick scan. ‘You very hairy; this will hurt you.’ Er, thanks. She began by snipping a centimetre off my hirsute chest. I was then told to shuffle up the table until my head was hanging off one end, guillotine-style (how fitting!), while the rest of my torso was covered in baby powder. A tool was produced: an innocuous-looking plastic gizmo, containing hot wax inside – wax that had been heated to between 50˚C and 70˚C and felt, not unpleasantly, like warm tar applied in sticky strips across my neck, chest and stomach. I’ve heard the pain ‘is all in the ripping motion’, and although Peggy – who’s generally on Brazilian- wax duty in Strip’s women-only branch – knew just how to tear that nylon cloth off me in the most efficient manner possible, I spent a lot of time grinding, growling, hissing and grimacing (but not screaming, thank you).

After regaining my composure, I was told upon leaving that I’d need to apply a soothing cream for the next couple of days – they sold me a small tube of Ice Cream with cooling menthyl lactate – and would have to apply a body scrub every couple of days from then on. Apparently, if you don’t get rid of the dead skin, new hair won’t grow properly and you’ll suffer ingrown hairs, which can cause livid red blotches and itching. What they didn’t tell me – and what friends have happily pointed out since – is that my chest will soon resemble an unshaven chin. And this bristly embarrassment will mean I’ll be forced into repeating the wax every month. Rest assured, I told them, I won’t ever be tempted to do this again.

The feeling I experienced when I returned home after my treatment wasn’t so much the post-adrenalin throbbing pain, tender rawness or that tight, skin-irritated feeling. It was the shocking full-length sight of my body. I didn’t recognise it. I looked like a naked mole rat. An American beach-goer. Fatty bits that were previously camouflaged by contoured hair patterns were now all too visible. When I went to bed, it was almost like I was sleeping with another man. I can foresee an expensive bout of counselling ahead. Peter Myers
Rating: 4/10 (due to my personal distaste of being waxed; Strip Co-Ed gets high marks for service, etc) Price: $55.64, plus $48 for the Ice Cream
Where: Strip Co-Ed, #05-09 Paragon Shopping Centre, 290 Orchard Rd (6836 4874). Orchard MRT.

On trial: System Professional Tailor-Made Ceremony Treatments at Toni&Guy
Here’s the deal: I have bad hair. I’m the classic ang moh whose mane is impossible to control in Singapore’s humidity. From the moment I step off the plane after each London-Singapore journey, it’s game over, so I decided to give System Professional Ceremony Treatments a go to see if it could do something about my unruly head of hair.

After a once-over by art director Janice and recommendations on how to improve my condition (slightly red scalp, dry ends and frizz overload), I was then handed over to another stylist, who whisked me away for a blissful wash (using System Professional volume shampoo) and head massage. Back in the hot seat, he applied an SP Sensitive Mask to my scalp to moisturise and alleviate irritation. This was done by parting my hair into sections, painting the mask on with a brush, massaging it in and then leaving it on for five minutes. Next, the ends were given some attention: a combination of SP 3.1 Hydro Mask and SP Silk Essence oil mixed together, again painted onto the ends and left for ten minutes to work its magic.

After another wash and a blow-dry (about 25 minutes) I was all done. I imagined myself in a hair commercial as I bounced out of Toni&Guy with my tresses looking not just tame but sleek. This lasted for, well, another day or so. But during that one glorious day my hair felt great. Unfortunately, when I next had to wash and dry it myself, the ‘just left the salon’ look disappeared and the ‘crazy lady’ look came right on back.
Georgia Reeve

Rating: 7/10
Price: $135 (for short hair), $155 (for long hair), excluding GST
Where: Toni&Guy, #03-03 The Heeren, 260 Orchard Rd (6835 4556). Orchard MRT.